Zelda and the Unibrows

Comedy Bang Bang and New Website

Comedy Bang Bang and New Website

Mike “Biggs” Kallio, who you may know from his piano and celesta performance on our “Museum TV Station” EP, just had his seven-second-long “Plugs” jingle featured on the Comedy Bang Bang podcast!

Composed and performed by Biggs, it was recorded and arranged at Bumbleplex Studio by the two of us in a feverish dervish of pure creative inspiration, and can be heard at the 1:27:00 mark in episode 587.



Meanwhile, I’ve been ramping up my personal online branding in the form of a new artist website, http://www.josephckrause.com. Since my big projects often have a lot of activity followed by a lot of nothing as I switch between them, I realized I needed to put all my stuff in one place and brand it as… me. Zelda and the Unibrows, Erie Canal Theatre, and lots of other collaborations can – should! – now be followed from that site and my recently rejuvenated Instagram grid.

Love,
Joseph C. Krause

How A Ghostly Comedy Song Took A Decade To Create

Look closely in this image for a mysterious white orb indicating unknowable supernatural activity.

Look closely in this image for a mysterious white orb indicating unknowable supernatural activity.

Hey, folks. Zelda and the Unibrows posted some new stuff over the course of the last month, culminating in Vlog 4, all about our song “How I Lost My Body“.

The vlog references early mixes of the song, starting with the version called “China King”. Here’s the First Mix, the Second Mix, and the Extended Instrumental Version. If you like the song you can buy it various places online, but if you buy music straight from us you can get the entire “Blissful Cessation” EP containing that song for just $3. Did I mention this video of a karaoke version of the song? Lyrics are at the end of this post if you like to read ahead.

 

February also found me appearing out in public instead of just on the internet. I showed up at The Anchor Bar in Downtown Detroit and screened a bunch of our videos in the bar’s secret back room. It was cool meeting everyone who was able to come check it out.

Anchor Bar Screening

Screening/Listening party at Anchor Bar.

Anchor Bar Merch

Our DIY luminescent merch table.

 

 

Finally, I put a weird, short, and sweet re-arrangement of “Or The Whale” up on Soundcloud, featuring fake-o acoustic guitar, harps, and flute. I think it’s pretty.

 

That’s all the stuff that happened during February (and the first few days of March). Why not write to me with your thoughts?

HOW I LOST MY BODY
by ZELDA AND THE UNIBROWS

GHOST:

When you die you become a ghost
And you get to haunt people
And make parts of the room too cold for no reason

Someone else renovates your house
Cuts down the tree you planted
And puts their children’s garish plastic playhouse in the yard near the stump

C’est la vie your grandson snickers
Spending his inheritance on game consoles and action figures
Craigslisted the clarinet you bought him

Go ahead and try to haunt him
Show up as an artifact of lens flare on his Flickr forum
But it won’t work because you’re dead

When you die those you love the most
Dress up to view your body
Then go out to the Waffle House to eat pancakes

The priest aims to form a schism
Checking his notes for your name and dwelling on your atheism
Stand up sit down and look at the carpet

He looked so good in his coffin
Can I have his iMac? Let’s go to this Waffle House more often
More coffee waitress I’m so cold!

SCAM ARTIST:
Electronics help me to find
Ectoplasmic residue
Left upon your bowling trophies

For a fee of 9.99
I will come back each day to
Exorcise your toaster oven

Scorpio your stars have aligned
Once your check clears you will in-
itiate into the mysteries

Close your eyes and focus your mind
Deep within this talisman
Is the secret of clairvoyance
GHOST:
When you die you become a ghost
And you get to haunt people
And make parts of the room too cold for no reason

Go ahead and try to haunt him
Show up as an artifact of lens flare on his Flickr forum
But it won’t work because you’re dead

SCAM ARTIST:
With this meter I have divined
Why your haunted microwave
Causes grapes to give off plasma

Your dead grandma is trapped in time
Won’t you help her find her peace
by enrolling in my classes

Ram this lingam into your shrine
immolate your amulet
please present your painted pebbles

Sancte deus! That’s the wrong spell!
You’ve opened the door to the
Spirit realm and ghostly places

Demons come through portals from hell
They’re here to eviscerate
People who have not repented

[speak in tongues]

from Blissful Cessation, released 27 August 2012
“How I Lost My Body” (BMI)
Music composed by Paul Szewczyk
Lyrics, vocals and engineering by Joseph C. Krause
Flute, sax and sax counterpoint by Samuel Seed
Youtube Version Mastered by Psilodump
Album Version Mastered by Tardon Feathered
Track Art by Anthony Callis

Poetry: “I Need A Garbage Man In My Life” and UniVlog 3

Poetry "I Need A Garbage Man In My Life"

 

I NEED A GARBAGE MAN IN MY LIFE
Yvonne Szymczak

I need a garbage man in my life
The kind that’s not afraid to flip a can
And lets the combined trash juices run down his leg
Without a flinch, or even a thought
For the need of a baby wipe or a shower

The kind that can endure all the dirty things you don’t want to see anymore

The kind of person who will put the things you needed once, and don’t need no more
Take it out your door
And this dirty middle-man will meet it at the curb

This dirty business – no handshakes here
Just flies buzzing through your ears

I need a garbage man in my life
That good old public service rock and roll

Music by Joseph C. Krause
Video/Poetry by Krause / Szymczak

Not only do we have the above new video, but here’s the latest “UniVlog”:

Thanks for viewing our website, everyone. My search engine optimization tool is telling me that I need to write more words than I so far have in order for Google to consider this post as a legitimate entry into my blog. Perhaps if I write a stream-of-counciousness paragraph such as this one I can get the word total to reach 300, which is apparently what is needed. It’s too bad I can’t just count he more than 5000 words I wrote recently on transportation towards my total for this blog. SEO also wants there to be external links to other sites. So here are a few external links to other sites. Here is a link to Zombo.com. Oh man, they even want me to put keywords, like “poetry”, “Backseat Detroit”, “Jerome Cavanaugh”, “Sussex”, “Zombo” and “Varese” in here. Sheesh.