Poetry: “I Need A Garbage Man In My Life” and UniVlog 3

Poetry "I Need A Garbage Man In My Life"


Yvonne Szymczak

I need a garbage man in my life
The kind that’s not afraid to flip a can
And lets the combined trash juices run down his leg
Without a flinch, or even a thought
For the need of a baby wipe or a shower

The kind that can endure all the dirty things you don’t want to see anymore

The kind of person who will put the things you needed once, and don’t need no more
Take it out your door
And this dirty middle-man will meet it at the curb

This dirty business – no handshakes here
Just flies buzzing through your ears

I need a garbage man in my life
That good old public service rock and roll

Music by Joseph C. Krause
Video/Poetry by Krause / Szymczak

Not only do we have the above new video, but here’s the latest “UniVlog”:

Thanks for viewing our website, everyone. My search engine optimization tool is telling me that I need to write more words than I so far have in order for Google to consider this post as a legitimate entry into my blog. Perhaps if I write a stream-of-counciousness paragraph such as this one I can get the word total to reach 300, which is apparently what is needed. It’s too bad I can’t just count he more than 5000 words I wrote recently on transportation towards my total for this blog. SEO also wants there to be external links to other sites. So here are a few external links to other sites. Here is a link to Oh man, they even want me to put keywords, like “poetry”, “Backseat Detroit”, “Jerome Cavanaugh”, “Sussex”, “Zombo” and “Varese” in here. Sheesh.

Happy Atheist Winter Vacation! It’s the Athiest!

Santa waits for the bus.

Santa Claus waits for the Michigan Avenue bus.


Greetings all! We have been busy this month. First, we made a new trailer for our Youtube channel:

The trailer includes a tune that has never really been released (although it appears, in secret, on Neves-eatnouT). We hope this trailer can stand in as a swift introduction to the uninitiated.



In addition to the recent launch of this blog, we’ve created a vlog as a sister project. Here’s our first installment. Did you know that “vlog” autocorrects to “blog”?

“Panties” Remix

Our good friend Psilodump, who narrates “Particle Boredom” on Unreason, came up with a freaking awesome remix of “Panties” back in 2009. Another friend of mine at the time was a DJ at a local club. I said, “We finally have a dance track you can play at the club!” and he said, “This isn’t dance music!” and I said, “Yes, it is!” and he said “No, it’s not!” and I said “You’re stupid!” and he said, “You’re stupid!” and then I tripped him and he fell into the street and was killed by his fear of being hit by a bus. Soon afterward, Psilodump sent me a clip of his gig at The Dirty Deal Café in Latvia, with many jubilant Latvians evidently enraptured. If only my dead friend had lived to see this clip, so that I could have proved to him how wrong he was! What a tragedy.

After an inexplicable non-release, here’s the premiere of that track in full:

Dance With Me, Stanley!

Another of our amazing friends is DJ Stashu, who has a radio show called “Dance With Me Stanley” on WFMU in Jersey City, New Jersey. She has been playing a lot of our new tracks on her show, and recently premiered “Turn Off The Motor”. Have a listen:

It’s Atheist Christmas, Man!

We all love Christmas. Especially hearing the same Christmas music over and over every year for our entire lifetimes whether we want to or not, even if we’re sealed inside of our private residences, the sounds still intrude, until there’s no choice but to seal your entire head in wax. And then, “Sleigh Ride” can still be heard through the breathing tube, so you drill down deep into the semi-molten upper mantle of the Earth, where only neutrinos and scalding rock can find you, where you are at last at peace. At peace, that is, until a Chinese freighter, shipwrecked in 1994 and filled with hundreds of thousands of copies of Mariah Carey’s Merry Christmas album is caught in a subduction zone near the Indian tectonic plate, which merges with your atoms as it melts, fusing with your very being for all subsequent, shrieking eons to follow.

We all love Christmas. So here are a few tidings of joy from Zelda and the Unibrows. First, Jeff visited Frankenmuth, Michigan, where Christmas never, ever ends:



Next, Chris Holt serenaded us with the classic “Go Tell It On The Mountain”:



Now, we all know that Santa Claus lives forever. We also know that the sun has about five billion years of energy left before it engulfs Earth as it speeds through its remaining fuel. Here’s our 2011 short exploring what this might look like:



If you like what we do and wish to keep us toiling through the night to create original content just for you (and your mom), here are six easy steps.

  1. Subscribe to our Youtube channel.
  2. Follow us on Soundcloud.
  3. Like our Facebook page (and click “get notifications”).
  4. Get on our email list.
  5. Share, like and comment on our content.
  6. Give us money! Straight up.

Thanks for checking in. We’re going to try pulling together one more little video this year, otherwise, we’ll see you in Polar Vortex, 2015!